The phrase “Oh, you are newlyweds” always seems to be spoken with a sense of superiority, a hint of condescension and a twinge of jealousy. Why do people feel the need to utter this phrase? I have no idea. Are they trying to prepare me by letting me know marriage is full of ups and downs? This, I have already found out. In the 3 ½ years since Aaron and I have been married we have moved 3 times to 3 different states. We have been apart for 16 months during his deployment. And countless other times for Army training. I spent a year on dialysis before I received a kidney transplant. Aaron spent every day of the 10 days at the hospital after the transplant and was my nurse when we got home.
What I have learned so far in my 3 ½ short years of marriage is that life is hard marriage has not been. Life has thrown us challenges that could break up any marriage but our marriage is stronger for it. After being married for 3 ½ short years. I can say without a doubt that Aaron is my best friend and the perfect husband for me. We have faced challenges head on together and will continue to do so throughout our life together.
Am I naive to think that marriage is easy? Not a chance. I know it’s hard. I am a product of a few divorces. I have seen almost ended marriages and have seen the toll life can take on a marriage. I know life will continue to challenge us and throw roadblocks at us but instead of dreading our years to come, I am excited to see what they have in store for us and how we will face these challenges together.
I don’t know if these people are trying to tell me that once the ‘newlywed’ period ends that things go downhill. I hope not. I hope not for their sakes. If so, what do they have to look forward too? Do they really think they best years of marriage are behind them? What an awful thought. And I hope this is not the case for them.
I have decided that when people are talking about their wedding, or talking about how much fun they have with their husband, or how much they love being married (These are the things I have said that prompt them to ask how long I have been married.) that my response will be “Oh, your newlyweds… marriage will only get better!” I don't want to start them off in their life together with negative words. I am sure (as I will learn in life) they will need all the positivity around them they can get.
I am sure some of you are reading this thinking the same thing I am writing about “Oh, she is just a newlywed, she has no idea what she is in for” but I hope not. I hope not for your sake.
My best friend and I just 3 1/2 short years ago.
4 comments:
That's such a georgous picture. That aside, well put, Jackison!
First of all... newlyweds??? Haven't you guys been together forever??
And secondly, I agree. Those first few years are new and novel, but they are far from the being the only good times in marriage.
Who knows? Ryan and I are celebrating our 5th year this October... maybe we're still 'newlyweds'.. but i'm really looking forward to being middle-aged with him.. and becoming a grandparent with him. There is so much more we haven't experinced yet together!
I second the beautiful picture comment!
Okay, so our anniversary was a few weeks ago and everyone kept saying "You're no longer newlyweds" in kind of a sad tone. I ask you: When the heck is the cut off?!
They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and I can see how it would be (and was) difficult to learn to live together, and pick up on the quirks you only pick up on living together - but I thought that was FUN! Okay, so there were some arguments in there but nothing that made me want to turn tail. I'm with you - I think it can only get better!
PS-I get tired just *thinking* about all the stuff Rachel Ray does!
yay for pretty wedding pictures!
Eighteen and a half years later, I am still married to my best friend.
When you pick 'em right, that's all that matters :)
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