Suspenders

I miss my Grandparents. I don't know what's gotten into me lately but I have really been missing them. My Grammy Headley is the only one still living. And I am embarrased to say I have hardly visited her in the home where she resides in PA. My Aunt, cousins and sister are faithful visitors. They brave every visit not knowing what she will say that day or if she will even recognize them.

Looking back, I don't think I appreciated my grandparents like I should have. When I was in my teen years, I would sometimes be annoyed that we would have to take a weekend/day and go see them. I took for granted they would always be here. And now I would give anything for a visit.

Left to right: Grandpa and Nana Pearce, Grammy and Grandpap Headley
They always seemed to have a great time when they got together.

Grandpa and Nana with our old dog Murphy.

We got to see my Grandpa and Nana more growing up because they lived so much closer. My Grandpa was a quiet man. And if you had the honor of meeting my Nana you knew why. She could talk for hours! But she could also listen like no one I have ever known. Nana had a warmth about her that is hard to explain. She had a great way of always making you feel important. She would greet you every time you'd visit with a smile and such enthusiasm that you knew she was genuinely happy to see you.

Grandpa would always greet me with a hug, kiss and a little pat on the back. He would always point me to the rooster cookie jar that always had cookies in it. My Grandpa was a suspenders man. I don't remember many times where he didn't wear them. He would get more every Christmas and seem just as excited with every pair he received.

I was afraid he was slipping from my memory. He passed away my freshman year in college which is over 10 years ago. I see his face but I was finding it hard to summon his voice. Recently my sister gave me a dvd (made from a video) that someone took at one of our Pearce family Christmas’. It was a video from the early 90’s. As soon as it started, I lost it. There were my Nana and Grandpa opening presents, laughing and having conversations. Now when I feel like they are slipping from my memory, I know I can pop in the dvd and they will be with me again.

They had a great love and were married for a long time! I remember their 50th wedding anniversary celebration and how much they still loved each other. I wear my Nana's wedding band on my right hand. It was a gift my mom gave me that I cherish. You can still see their initials engraved on the inside.

Grandpap, me and Grammy circa 1982.

My Grandpap and Grammy always tried to be there. They traveled quite a lot to spend time with us growing up. I think they were afraid my Dad was hurting us. My Dad always said we would get so excited they were coming we would get hyper, clumsy and bump some piece of furniture. My sister and I always had new bruises to show off when they got to our house.

My Grandpap had the best stories. I wish I would have appreciated them more. When I was little I didn't know why he would always tell the same story over and over. I get it now that I am older. I even do it now myself! When I was a teen it would annoy me to hear the story of how I would always call a train a 'twain' and how excited I would get when I saw one. I would love to hear the story again, if only I could. I want to hear more about his experiences as a Zem Zem clown and his alter ego 'Mr. Bill' with giant blue hair. If only I had one more day.

It makes me a little sick to tell you that my Grandpap and I got into a fight once. I know. I can't imagine what you must think of me. Who does that? Nobody does that. I know we both said things we didn't mean. I think about that day often. It is a moment in my life when I thought I was standing up for myself but I should have given my Grandpap the respect he deserved and let him say his peace. I was wrong. It took me awhile after his death to get to this point but I know he forgives me. He (along with my other grandparents) was a strong, faithful Christian. He wouldn't hold a grudge. He was an outstanding person. I have met few in my life like him. And I was lucky to have him love me unconditionally.

Grammy too, was amazing. A little crazy fact about her: she never learned to drive. She was happy to never get behind the wheel of a car. She could play the piano and organ beautifully. And I rarely ever heard a negative word come out of her mouth. No matter how frustrated she got somehow she managed to focus her energies in another way. And boy could she bake! We knew that whenever she was around there were cookies hiding somewhere.

After my Grandpap died unexpectedly from a stroke, she started to go down hill. I can't imagine trying to live without someone you have loved for more than half your life. They loved each other tremendously. Her heart is broken and I don't think she will truly happy again until they are together again in Heaven. I can't say that I blame her. I just wish we had the old Grammy back. But then I am just being selfish.

The pastor spoke on Sunday about 'have to' vs 'get to'. Instead of when I was younger and thought I had to go see my grandparents, I wish I could take a trip and get to see them all. To get to hear their stories, get to watch Wheel of Fortune with them, get to see their smiles and get to feel their hugs. It was an honor to get to be their granddaughter. I just didn't know it until it was to late.

I miss them a lot. I wish they were still here. But I know I will see them again someday. I know we will be together again serving the Lord in Heaven. And while I don't know what Heaven is going to be like, I hope I will get to see my Grandpa in his trusty suspenders!